Feeling pretty darn good :)

First off, my husband hasn't had to call me "grumpy" all week :) thats a really good thing.  I am feeling so much better.  I am off the AC and now on the taxol. The taxol seems to be SO much better than the AC. I am a little scared because it is still early.  My fatigue is so much better.  The taxol can be accumulative so I don't want to get to excited, but so far so good. I am a happy camper right now.


I plan on going to work tomorrow.  Yippee....I haven't worked two weeks in a row for way to long. 

Good News.....

Dr. Kaplan just called me to let me know that the tumor is shrinking. YES!!!!! The chemo seems to be doing what it is suppose to do.
When I go in on Friday we will talk about some more test that he would like to do.


So far, I am feeling pretty good.  I am feeling like the "taxol" is going to be easier on me.  Today I was really tired. Not as fatigued, but just tired. I have had some achy joints and a weird stomach.  I am not going to work tomorrow, but I hope to work Wednesday and Thursday.  I feel a little scared, or afraid of the unknown still. Just not sure how this "taxol" is going to affect me.

So far doing good....

Day two after my first Taxol treatment and I am doing well. I am feeling amazingly good, but I do still have a bunch of steroids in me which keeps me feeling pretty good for a few days. My hope is that Monday is going to come and I am not going to experience the horrible fatigue.  


Very anxious for my MR results on Monday also. You all will be the second to know after me :)

Long day...

It's 7:00 o'clock and Dan and I just got home. Been a long day and i am really tired.  We got to Swedish this morning about 9:00 am.  My treatment went well.  No reactions again...yay!!  I asked my doctor a lot of questions today about my treatment, surgery and radiation.  I have been feeling like what if my treatment isn't working, what if this comes back, what if what if.  I have just been feeling really scared.  My doctor said all of those feelings are very normal and he reassured me everything is going well.  I had my MR today which will show us that things are working for sure :) I will get these results on Monday. Very anxious for that.  My doctors office scheduled me an appointment with my breast surgeon today. I will see her on February 7th. I am very ready to find out more about my mastectomy. The procedure, post op recovery and just learn more about the whole deal.  My doctors office also set me up with an appointment with my radiation oncologist for February 13th. Will be nice to find out more about my radiation therapy also.  I did learn that my surgery will be about two weeks after my taxol treatments end. I will need to heal for about a month or more before I will be able to start my radiation.  The next doctor that I need to see is the reconstruction surgeon.  I will schedule to see them after I see the breast surgeon.  Wow... a lot of doctor huh.  Especially for someone who has never been sick before. 


Shout out to Nancy Pugh and Katy Mowrer for spending time with me this morning at treatment. Thanks guys.  Love you both!


I am doing a little better this evening.  Still pretty emotional, but a lot of that is from all the steroids they have been giving me and pumping into me.  I am prepared to have an emotional, moody, up and down weekend.  Basically I am an emotional roller coaster.  Poor Danno.  


I also got some other news today, another diagnosis....

Thank goodness

there's a name for 

this disorder.

Somehow I feel 

better even though

I have it!!

I was diagnosed with

A.A.A.D.D.

Age Activated

Attention Deficit

Disorder/Chemo Brain

This is how it

manifests:

I decide to water

my garden.

As I turn on the

hose in the

driveway.

I look over at my car

and decide it needs

washing.

As I started toward

the garage.

I notice mail on the

porch table that

I brought up from

the mail box earlier.

I decide to go

through the mail

before I wash the

car.

I lay my car keys on 

the table,

put the junk mail in 

the garbage can

under the table,

and notice the table,

and notice that the

can is full.

So I decide to put

the bills back on

the table & take 

out the garbage

first.

But then I think,

since I'm going to be

near the mailbox

when I take out the 

garbage anyway,

I may as well pay 

the bills first.

I take my check

book off the table,

and see that there is

only one check left.

My extra checks are

in my desk in the study,

so I go inside the 

house to my desk

where

I find the can of Pepsi I'd been 

drinking.

I'm going to look

for my checks,

but first I need to 

push the Pepsi

aside

so that I don't

accidentally knock it

over.

The Pepsi is getting

warm.

I decide to put it in 

the refrigerator to

keep it cold.

As I head toward the

kitchen with the

Pepsi,

a vase of flowers on

the counter catches

my eye.

They need water.

I put the Pepsi on 

the counter and 

discover my reading

glasses that

I've been searching

for all morning.

I decide I better put

them back on my 

desk,

but first I'm going to

water the flowers.

I set the glasses

back down on the 

counter,

fill a container with

water and suddenly

spot the TV remote

someone had left it

on the kitchen table.

I realize that 

tonight when we

go to watch TV,

I'll be looking for the 

remote.

but I won't

remember that it's

on the kitchen table,

so I decide to put it 

back in the den

where it belongs.

But first I'll water the

flowers

I pour some water in the

the flowers

Quite a bit of it spills

on the floor.

So, I set the remote 

back on the table,

get some towels and

wipe up the spill.

Then I head down

the hall trying to 

remember what I 

was planning to do.

At the end of the

day:

the car isn't washed

the bills aren't paid

there is a warm can

of

Pepsi sitting on the 

counter

the flowers don't

have enough water,

there is still only 1

check in my check

book,

I can't find the

remote,

I can't find my 

glasses,

and I don't remember what I did

with the car keys

Then, when I try to

figure out why

nothing got done,

I'm really baffled

because I know I 

was busy all day

long,

and I'm really tired.

I realize this is a

serious problem,

and I'll try to get

some help for it, but 

first I'll check my 

e-mail......

Don't laugh --

this could be you 

someday!!!

Weird week for me.....

It's been a weird week for me. All I have thought about is my treatment tomorrow and how I don't want to go. It literally makes me gag to think about it.  I know I need to get over it and just get my butt prepared for tomorrow. Of coarse I will be going, but I sure wish my attitude could change right now.

Dan says I have been really moody, really emotional and kind of just a mess all week. I guess he is right. He would definitely know :)

I find myself thinking a lot this week about this stupid cancer and what if this treatment doesn't work. What if my tumor isn't shrinking. It's so weird how you don't even know if this is all doing anything. I have my MRI tomorrow, so hopefully I will find out something tomorrow. Bottom line I am really struggling this week.  I am really tired of all this and i have so much more to still do.

On a brighter note, Karley Faye plays Montana State tonight and I can't wait to watch her game. The Vikings need a win. They are 3-2 in conference play. Not so good. It is time to start winning please. My niece Chantel Jaeger goes to Montana State so Karley will get to see her cousin tonight. Very cool. Chantel is a runner at MSU. She is amazing. She set a new record the very first event she did this last fall. Go Chantel!!!

Hanging in there...

It's Monday and I am doing pretty good. I still have low energy, but everyday this week should be better. I plan on going to work the rest of this week :)

I am not looking forward to this Friday when I start my new treatments of "taxol".  Twelve weeks seems like forever.  I know it will go by fast,  but just not fast enough :)

I need to "shout out" to my friend Lorrie Larsen.  She brought Dan and I dinner last Friday night. Was so sweet of you to venture out here to the country and bring us dinner. Thank you Lorrie!  It was great to come home from treatment last Friday and dinner was done for us. Loved it!

I am a little anxious to start a new set of chemo drugs. The doctor said these are different than what I have been on and I will have different symptoms. These drugs are suppose to be easier on the body, but can be symptomatic so lets just all hope and pray for minimal symptoms.

I am going to make it a great week!!  :)

It's going to be a good weekend :)

It's Saturday, should be my turnaround day. Ready for that :) I got up this morning and did my Jillian Michael's DVD workout. It was so hard. I am so out of shape, but hey, I did it. I am going to try and do that a few times a week now. It's only 9:00 am, but so far I am feeling pretty good today :)

I though I would share a few pictures and a video I made of our winter wonderland week out her in the country up here on our hill.  Dang, I can't get my video to load.

We went to our neighbors this night for a redneck power out dinner. We all have generators so we were very warm and it was pretty cool. Thanks John and Tonya. Also "big shout out" to Tyler their son, he has done so much for us.

My man keeping the generator going....brrrr

Rough week

Hi all. Not only do I feel poopy, I also have been snowed in and had no consistent power since Tuesday. I am over this winter storm. Did I say over the winter storm. Snow please go away. Power men please get my power restored. I was thinking that my fatigue really hadn't been that bad. Then Dan reminded me that I have been able to do nothing at all. I guess I didn't notice I was doing totally nothing because the power is out and there is nothing todo. I don't even know if that makes any sense at all. Bottom line, I'm fatigued, I'm tired of being tired, I'm tired of doing nothing, I'm tired of feeling like crap, I'm tired of not being normal. Basically this sucks.

 Okay now I'm not going to whine anymore today. Tomorrow should be my turnaround day. I am going to pray for that. We have plans to hang with our most precious friends tomorrow until Sunday. I am so excited for that. It's going to be a fun weekend. Let's also ALL pray that this is my last rough week. My taxol treatments start next Friday and they should be easier on me.

 Also my mother finally got out of the hospital yesterday. She is home and doing well. Thank God she wasn't hurt worse in her fall. Her neck is bilaterally broken, but she has no paralysis. She will be in a neck brace for 12 weeks. The same amount of time I will be in chemo. So we can heal together. I really hope she can come and stay with me soon. I am so sad for her. I love you mom!

Intense first phase of treatment is over ....YES

It has been a crazy week to say the least.  I have been feeling much better. Made it to work all three work days. That felt really good.


On a sad note, my mother fell and broke her neck this week. I am sad for her. AND, she was suppose to be coming to stay with me for a week this week. I am really bummed.
She has no paralysis, praise God for that! She has what is called a "hangman's fracture" she broke vertebras on either side of her neck and will be in a collar for about 3 months. They are still hopping she will not have to have a "halo". This would suck for her. She is doing well and is still in the hospital in Portland. Karley has been able to go see her which has been wonderful. We are still anxiously waiting to see when she will be released and how much care she will need. I really want her to come and stay with me, but she really wants to just get home for a while.


Back to my crazy world :) My treatment was another success yesterday. No reactions, no problems. I am really lucky that things continue to go so well.
My beautiful friend amanda came by an visited me during treatment and she totally spoiled me with a manicure. I have never had shellac nails before and they are so pretty. I just went with a clear sparkly pink and I LOVE IT!!! Thank you so Amanda!

After Amanda left the nurses just kept talking about how cool that was and that they haven't seen that one before during a chemo treatment. ....you are the first Amanda.


After my treatment I was pretty sleepy so Danno just let me rest before we ventured on towards home

It's hard on a girl to get yucky stuff pumped into her for four hours :)


Now I am totally dreading this next week. I know it is going to be a tough one. I also know that I can do it.


I have an MRI on Friday morning to see how well my treatments have done so far. Please God let these tumors be shrinking away. I feel a little anxious. I will just continue to pray for healing through each session of my journey.


Then I will have a week off and then onto my 12 weekly treatments of "taxol". New drugs, new side affects new venture. It sounds like I should have no nausea with this drug. Wont even have to take the nausea meds that I take now. That will be good. I will possible have some nueropothy, which could be tinkling in my fingers and toes. Sounds easy, but my doctor said can be a big deal. So, we will just have to wait and see.
Taxol is definitely suppose to be a lot easier as far as fatigue also. I am all for that. Fatigue is so brutal.


One more shout out to my man. He is truly the best man I have ever know. He does the most amazing things for me. I come home Wednesday night, ironically the night my mom had fallen so we were down stairs making calls and figuring out were mom was and calling and talking to nurses and doctor and social workers for a good hour before I even took my coat off. Then I decide to go upstairs to take a bath and I walk into my bathroom and this is on my counter.

A dozen roses, an amazing gift and a beautiful rose card. He is just so special and I am just so lucky to have him. He doesn't ever do things like on Valentines Day he always does it in a way when I would never expect it.
Love him so much! Could not have a better man to be taking care of me especially now. 
I am so blessed!!


One more thing I want to share because I never finished it earlier because Christmas got so hectic. I had posted a couple of 12 days of Christmas gifts that Dan had gotten for me. So sweet. He had bought me 12 gifts one for each 12 days of Christmas. All just small thoughtful gifts. Then we all got sick the kids and grandkids came for almost a week and life was just really busy. So just be for Christmas I started finding gifts on our stair case when I would be walking up to bed, in my sheets, in my pillow case, in my car, on my bathroom counter. It was the sweetest thing ever.


Shoot out to "Dan The Man" for being such an amazing husband, friend and partner. I love you so much !!

Last of the first phase

Today was the last of the first phase! Kim was not excited about today because she is not looking forward to next week an how she will feel. But it is exciting that she got through this part and can now move on to the next long set of treatment. Who knows what that will bring but it is another step closer to winning this battle. We just finished treatment and she is really sleepy from the meds so I'll let her sleep it off for a bit.Sorry to repeat but needs to be repeated, thanks to you all for the terrific support you give to Kim, it is just so impressive and it is really helping her get through this,and we both appreciate it so much! Shout out to Amanda Pugh for the great nail job today.I don't think they have ever seen that here before, if Law school does't work out maybe you could start a business here!


 Thanks again. Dan

It was sure a good day :)

I worked today :) I even made it through the WHOLE day. I am so happy. Yep.... worked my 8 hour day. It is really weird how i feel so good. I really feel normal. Just love it!


I am so spoiled :))) I got home tonight and my wonderful man had a fabulous dinner a waiting for me. Just love him so much! Now I get to watch TRU TV (my man's new fav TV show) I am so lucky hahaha


Looking forward to a normal week. I plan on working tomorrow and Thursday. My normal work schedule. Woot Woot!!!


Still not looking forward to Friday. Treatment day. But lets not even think about that. I have two more great days ahead to enjoy :))

So much better .... yay!!!

I am doing so much better :) Saturday did turn out to be my turnaround day.
Looking forward to feeling more normal all week. NOT looking forward to my last intense treatment this Friday :( I already am dreading how I am going to feel next week. But, for now, lets think about how good I am going to feel this week :)


I plan on working my normal schedule this week :) Or as many hours a day as my body will let me work. It will be nice to get into my normal schedule. Day time TV sucks. It is so boring to just hang out at home day after day.


After my treatment this Friday I will start my weekly treatments for 12 weeks. Ughhhh, seems so long huh. These treatments are suppose to be easier so lets just put out some prayers for that :)


Oh oh oh... big SHOUT OUT to my sister and brother in law. They had to bring Chantel to the airport yesterday so they came and visited us for the whole afternoon. Was so great!!  Thanks Shelly and Greg for bringing pizza and salad.  And Shelly thanks a lot for buying a 4lb bag of licorice and leaving it here for me to chow on. You know licorice is my down fall. Dang you!
Loved seeing you guys.

Fatigue!!

I am so fatigued!  Fatigue has definitely got me.  Fatigue sucks!! I can not really do much these days. I just get so tired. I try doing anything and I just can't. I get so tired I have to lay down. This is really yucky and I don't like it at all.

Can I just say that my husband is AH...MAZING!!! He is truly not normal haha. He just does absolutely everything for me.  It's reallly weird because I feel so guilty because I can't do anything. Even though I know I am sick, I just feel like I should be able to do normal stuff. He just makes me feel so good and he keeps reminding me that I am doing so good. Even though I don't feel like I am sometimes because I am so lazy.

Also I miss Karley so much. She is on a road trip now. I don't know when  I will get to see her again. I hate that.

I have treatment in a week, ughhhhh. I can't even stand the thought of another treatment. Oh, and I have so many more. 

Dear God. I pray for grace, strength and courage.  Amen.

I made it.....

So, I left this morning to do my errands. Dan met up with me after he was done working. He took half a day off. Yay!! Love spending time with him :)

I got all of my returns done and we did a little shopping for him. He needed some jeans. I was so ready to come home hours before we came home. He is amazing. I am so cranky. Just really bitchy and he just keeps saying honey it's good for you you need to be out, you have been in house for three days straight. I'm thinking what ever dude I am tired and I want my couch. We f i n a l l y got home and I love my couch. It was really nice to spend a day out. I just can't explain how hard it is. I just have NO energy. It's the weirdest thing I have ever been through. 

We are having mexican night and it has been really nice. I made enchiladas. Of coarse it takes me for ever because  I have to keep resting. We went to tampico's, one of our favorite mexican places, and got beans and chips to go for our appetizer.

Karley plays Arizona tonight so we are excited to watch her in about 15 minutes. 

Been a nice day for a cancer patient hahaha

I am really blessed. I am doing so good!

Going to be a better day......

Yesterday was tough. Today is going to be better. I am so darn bored. I have never ever spent so much time just laying around doing nothing. It's so weird. But I am a cancer patient. I think I forget haha Im quickly reminded when I have no energy to do anything. Hate that!!

I have got my medicine and I feel better already. Antibiotics are amazing.

Today I am going to accomplish a couple of things :) I have a couple returns to do and some banking to do so lets see if I can be out of the house for a couple of hours and survive. I am sure I will be exhausted when I get home but so be it. I need out! 

Poor her

My poor Woman, she is doing as well as expected but she does seem to underestimate her condition at times. She is doing OK but really does not have the energy to do much. In fact her cough and energy level isn't much these days and makes a nights rest pretty tough. Some of the meds make her edgy and uncomfortable but her attitude overrules most bad things. She is doing really good but struggles with some of the obvious issues.  Not looking forward to next Friday already but it is one less treatment, the last of the first big 4 treatments. Then on to the once a week treatments. That is a long set and we hope she will do great. Thanks to everyone that encourages Kim and you have all amazed me on how much you do care.  She is really quite the woman and I love her very much. Keep praying for what it is that God wants us to learn from all of this and how we can grow from this experience. Thanks to you all again.
Dan

Melt down.......

I am soooooo tired of all of this. I am cranky. I am tired of being tired. I am tired of feeling poopy. I feel ugly. I feel sad.
Been a rough 12 hours. Poor Danno. I am so sorry.
I think I have a bladder infection. My doctor forgot to call in the medicine last night. We go all the way into town to get it and no RX phoned in. Dan has to get it for me this morning. My back hurts. I need my medicine. 
Okay, I am done venting. I am going to have a better day today now.

Happy New Year everyone.....

First off, I am sorry I have not blog for so many days. But most important is that I am doing really good :)
I did get my chemo treatment cold and all. I tricked em...went in all cough syrup ed up. It worked :) actually, my blood work was really good and that is what matters.
Dan, myself, Nancy, Jody and Amanda all came to treatment with me on Friday. It was great to have you all with me. Thank you!  And, I am soooo mad we didn't get a picture of all of us for my blog. Booo hooo Treatment went well as usual. I am so blessed! I have not had one bad reaction and I just keep doing so well. Thank God!!

After my treatment we met up with Sam, Tami, Jack & Reese. Also Faye & Truman ( Sam's parents) for lunch in Seattle.

  We had a great lunch. It was great to get to see the kids and grand kids one more time before they left town. It was also great to see Faye and Truman.

Then Dan and I kinda of gambled and planned on me feeling okay to take to the train to Portland to go watch Karley play ball. I felt okay and it worked out great. We stayed at Karley's place Friday night. Her heat was out and it was really cold, but we survived. I was still feeling really good. Weird.
Saturday a friend of mine from High School came to Portland to see us and to watch Karley play ball. Was so great to see you Jodi. Jodi and I played basketball together from 7th grade through high school. We met and had lunch then went to Karley's game.

Larry and Jodi Bellamy and US.

 Karley's team had their first conference game against Montana State. They lost :( Montana  could not miss a shot. PSU actually played pretty good Montana just played exceptional. 

For New Years Eve Dan and I took Karley out to dinner. We had such a great time!

 After dinner Karley dropped us off at our hotel. Oh yea, Danno didn't want to sleep on an air mattress in the cold so we did priceline and got a hotel for the night. It was nice. Karley went to a friends house to bring in the new year. Dan and I went to our hotel sat in the bar and had a couple of drinks before hitting the sac around 10:30. It was still a very happy new year.

I continue to be amazed at how good I am feeling. I still get tired, but I am well. I have decided to not work today and probably this week just because I get so weak. I still have not had much nausea. Just can't accomplish a lot in a day. As long as I get a lot of rest I do okay.

Yesterday I met up with a friend that I have not seen in years and we had a fabulous lunch. Connie and Amanda thank you for lunch and it was so great to see you both. Amanda I wish you the very best in the Navy.

 Connie, Me and Amanda

I must say one thing that this diagnosis has caused for me in a positive matter is the friends that have got in touch with me that I have not talked to in years. It has been a real blessing for me.

Diana thank you for coming out today and bringing lunch and visiting. It was really nice.